Ministry Mantra

There is a book called God, Marriage and Family by Andreas Kostenberger that I use often as a reference. In the chapter regarding family I have found what consider my mantra for the ministry to children.

Overall, then, we learn from Jesus that we should not look down on children because they are not fully grown and hence are of lower social status than adults. Like Jesus, we should treat children with respect and dignity, as unique and precious creatures made by God and valuable in his sight. What is more, contrary to our natural inclination that may tell us that we can learn nothing from children and that the relationship is strictly one-way from parent or adult to child, we should look at children also from the vantage point of desirable kingdom traits that may exemplify in a more pronounced way than we do ourselves. This is one way in which God defies the wisdom of those who are wise in their own eyes, and the pride of those who think they are something in and of themselves (Matt. 11:25-27; 1 Cor. 1:27-29).

Ministry to children, therefore, should be conducted in a humble spirit of service rather than in a patronizing manner, and should be viewed as a privilege rather than as an undesirable chore left to those who are unable to attain to a higher calling. While children have much to learn, they also have much to teach us, if we are humble enough to listen to them and to observe them. Their simple faith that takes God at his word, their believing prayer trusting God to do what they ask, their willingness to explore new things and to follow the lead of another - these are but a few examples of qualities in children that adults will find inspiring and worth emulating. By repeatedly pointing to children as models of kingdom values and attitudes, Jesus elevated those who are lowly in this world and humbled those with status, power and position.

Sacred Parenting

This is a fantastic book on what parenting truly is - and isn't. Gary Thomas is a great author and speaker, both Kevin and I have had the privelege of hearing him. If you are struggling or want to grow more with your parenting, or your marriage - Sacred Parenting, and Sacred Marriage are essential books for a wake up call and encouraging exhortation to what you are really called to.

Here are some excerpts from the first chapter in Sacred Parenting that I think open it up to the heart of the matter right off:

Why have children? Sadly most of us end up having kids for superficial reasons. Yet these motivations, as noble as they may sound, are still narcissistic at the root, based on an ideal notion of children and a romanticized view of what family life is really like.

Before long I discovered what every parent has discovered: babies come to us as sinners in need of God's grace and as dependent human beings demanding around-the-clock care. This reality will melt sentimentality and our romanticized notions of family life before we reach the end of the very first jumbo pack of Pampers!

We need something more concrete, something more eternal, to see us through the challenges of parenting. The best reason to have kids - the one reason that will last beyond mere sentiment - is so simple that it may not seem very profound: God commands us to have children (Genesis 1:28).

In other words having children isn't about us - it's about him. We are called to bear and raise children for the glory of God.

Here's a thought: Let's accept that both marriage and parenting provide many good moments while also challenging us to the very root of our being. Let's admit that family life tries us as perhaps nothing else does; but let's also accept that, for most of us, this is God's call and part of his plan to perfect us. Once we realize we are sinners, and that together, as a family, we are to grow toward God, then family life takes on and entirely new purpose and context. It becomes a sacred enterprise when we finally understand that God can baptize dirty diapers, toddler's tantrums, and teenagers' silence in order to transform us into people who more closely resemble Jesus Christ.

This isn't my ministry

One of our teachers shared this story recently about how God provided something as simple as food to help them really understand how they are to serve in ministry to others:

Thursday, July 3rd, I'm meeting with my coach for my volunteer leader position as a Two's leader at Imago. I'm telling her the ways that I want to be a better leader, and love on my team more and give them bonding experiences by doing things like...having them all over for a BBQ. But the thing is, my husband is between jobs right now, and we're taking frugal to a whole new level. I'm pretty sure hamburgers for a crowd isn't a real priority for us. So we brainstormed some pretty cool ways that we could get together and bond anyway, and I went away hopeful. But God heard my heart...

Next night...we come home late from watching fireworks out in Gresham, and what is sitting on our porch, but a cooler-full of hamburger patties, cheese slices, buns and chips! I instantly thought, "woah, that's a lot of hamburgers" and then, "now I can have my Two's bbq!" But I didn't want to squander the wealth of food that God had given us in a time of need, and again, I want to keep my priorities straight...feed the family first, right? As we were going to bed, we talked about this blessing of beef...60 hamburger patties in all! My husband says something that made me laugh and cry at the same time: "God has entrusted us with 60 patties!" I wrote it on the white-board I have hanging in our bedroom (I'm still redecorating). God has entrusted us with 60 patties. That's more than what we need to feed our family; do we really want to eat cheeseburgers for 10 days straight? OK, not that we'd have to eat them all at once, they're frozen of course. But still, that's a lot of meat for folks who weren't big red-meat eaters before. So I thought I'd mention my BBQ aspirations to my husband. I didn't want to sound self-serving with the provision God had given our family. But he agreed: I needed to have that BBQ. We cried and thanked God as He spoke to us:

• This isn't my ministry, and the passion in my heart was not created by me. I have already come to a point of doing this because I love God, and He's asked me to do it. Because He has shown me that he loves me, I desire to love others. Because of the way He's created me, I will lean toward loving people in certain ways, like feeding them. God knows I love to cook for people, to gather 'round and take care of some practical needs. Having a BBQ isn't about me and my objectives and how I manage my grocery budget. It's about how God wants to speak into our lives through community. If He wants a BBQ to happen, He will put it on my heart and He will make it happen. He will even shop for the burgers: He will speak to someone in our community because He knows they will listen, and He will tell them to give the leftover 4th-of-July burger supplies to the us!

• Leading the Two's Room is not just my calling. I am part of a family, and whatever I do in ministry effects my whole family. Whatever is happening with the family effects the ministry. So whether or not anyone else is on the front lines of the ministry, we, our family, are partnering together to lead the Two's Room. If God has laid it on my heart to have a team BBQ, it is not selfish to bring that idea to the family, it is appropriate. And as is fitting, we will love on the Two's team as a family. This may seem obvious to the spiritually healthy married couple, but for a family that's experienced years of addiction and abuse and plain 'ole cultural brainwashing, this is a [brighter] light shed on the way God designed things to work, and we are seeing what a beautiful creation He's made in marriage and family. Our family is a team, and we talk about that a lot...but it mostly has a lot to do with cleaning the house and sticking up for each other on the playground. But to think about how that applies to supporting each other in the ways that God has called us to serve Him...it's much different (and may I say more special?) than the way we might support a missionary, or support an orphan overseas. To support each other as a family is opposite of the American culture's ideal of autonomy, even within the family. I don't think that was God's intention for family, but I'll let that roll around in your head a bit and see what He says to you......

Owning and Repenting

A friend is going through one of those crazy times in life and ministry right now where she's not sure how she got where she is or how to get out. God has been speaking to her steadily and bringing much clarity which has brought upon repentance as well as joy and praise. It's been a privilege to watch even through her tears, because she is being set free to really live again.

This is what she has allowed me to share. A piece of her heart, so that you may be encouraged that managing, taking complaints to the top, and being a worker bee - is a dead end in leading others. Life, joy, the work of God - comes from deep change and allowing others freedom to create and step in.

This is what she writes to her leaders (followed up by connecting with them):

I want to share a little of my life with you guys. Over the last week or so God has been showing, challenging and growing me so much. He's revealing some of my misconceptions and disbelief's about Him. I'm finding I don't actually believe the truth about his character. And with that, I have misconceptions of myself and how He sees me. Over the last few weeks He has been revealing some of those unbelief's/disbelief's to me, and gently correcting me. I've had to confess, and then seek Him, which is one of the very issues I have been learning about - not wanting to seek or ask of God.

I want to share all this for 2 reasons. One to be open to what God is teaching me, doing in me, and share my life with you as you do with me. Two, because my sin effects you and our ministry. I see that when I lead I pass these doubts about God onto you, how can I not? It might be by taking away things you are gifted at, made to do or stepping in to take over in places maybe God is trying to reveal something to you or your volunteers hearts. In my unnecessary protection, I don't want to see you burdened at all and so I overcompensate.

I want to apologize for creating an environment that is not healthy, where i am not leading well, and where i just keep creating systems and such when I really need to let the internal burdens i carry go (sometimes to just to God, sometimes to you, sometimes to my leaders, to other staff, etc) and then stand back look at what we are doing, why we do it, and what I'm made/called by God to do in this ministry.

So, that is what I am doing, digging my way out and answering some questions. The biggest of which is why? Why am i doing what I'm doing? When I looked at all the words that came out as I answered this - people was the theme. I care for people! I want them to be taken care of, inspired, helped, and known. And I know you want the same which is why you are here.

I am so thankful for you, for your faithfulness, your love for the people God has brought us, your hard work, and the grace you have for me. I am blessed. Please pray for me as I learn to believe that God wants me to lean into Him and ask Him for help, and that this ministry doesn't revolve around me and my efforts.

My friend is beginning to be free from a cage of burden and to do lists that she had created and led her team in. She has not blamed staff, quit without going through the process God wanted to do in her, or shuffled all her responsibility onto her team. She instead...repented. Which doesn't mean asking forgiveness and doing the same. It means turning around. Simple, yet something many of us struggle to do. I'm looking forward to watching her team create and dream and listen to God's heart as they lead people.

Thank you friend for reminding us all the importance of owning, repenting and the humble attitude of a leader that frees us all.

From the mother of a 2 year old

Wendy - Thank you for taking the time out to email me, that sounds right up my son's alley. He has been talking about "church" lately, and I have to give you guys some great high fives because he tells me about "sing Jesus" and "love Jesus" and it is so sweet. To see him loving to stay at church is such a difference from the past. oh yea, another story. We pray as a family (all holding hands together) but sometimes he holds his hands to himself and the only place that he has learned that is from you guys. To know that my son is praying outside of home, is beautiful.
Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for being consistent caring and most of all loving my little guy. I cannot tell you how much that means to me.

Thank you 2 year old teachers! I love you! God is breaking through and drawing kids to Himself.

Kids on mission

One of my staff, Adam Parent, shared this with me about some movement God is doing in our kids hearts:

Several weeks ago for our Sunday morning K-5th grade community, Joni Kabana came and shared about Torina’s world (a book she wrote/took pictures for about kids in Madagascar). While sharing several kids asked her what they could do to help? Some asked if they could bring clothes, some school supplies, etc. Joni – responded with “of course you can” – this began the ball rolling of kids bringing in clothes and school supplies to donate to these children. They started pouring in the goods on Sunday the week after Joni spoke.

The week following, the Hotchkiss family came and shared about the well project they have been helping with over in Rwanda. They have partnered with a school to help build and repair a well. Lisa Hotchkiss had the idea to ask kids to earn $ for the well project by doing special chores as opposed to just asking their parents for the money. I thought it was a great idea and so advertised it to our kids and parents. The money brought in this past week are a result of the extra chores worked on by the kids of Imago - $167 the kids have brought in thus far!

The same Sunday that the Hotchkiss family came, Amy Boles (one of our 4th/5th grade teachers) came up to me and had the idea while she was talking with her class about earning money and matching the funds they earn. She wrote a letter to the other teachers seeing if they wanted to partner with the kids. So now there is more money coming in from the teachers after finding out what the kids in their class brought in.

We also made a banner for the school in Rwanda – and cards and pictures for the kids in Madagascar that we will be sending off with the $$ and the clothing/school supplies. Absolutely cool – how that all came together.

(Pictured above is Christy, Adam's wife who delivered all the supplies the kids had put together)

I got to oversee elementary a week ago in Adam's absence. I was amazed and even humbled listening to the kids talk about what they did to earn money that week and why they wanted to. The kids told me all about the well that had broken in Rwanda at a school and how the kids there had to drink gross water now. So there I stood with a pink bucket where they brought their hard earned cash - some of them having no idea what they were doing as they threw a $20 bill in, and others coming with $2.67 all labeled and in a Ziploc baggie very carefully placing it. Parents were curious if the kids raised much of anything and asked when we are sending supplies over and how else they can help.

Fascinating to me. A curriculum we wrote out of our church's value of missional journey - we made a segment about global community. And we prayed and invited others in whom we thought would have a unique and real perspective on what it looks like to care for others in other parts of the world. And the kids NATURAL response with little adult initiation is...WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP? HOW CAN I KNOW THOSE KIDS? I hear stories of kids at the grocery store with their parents and the subject comes up that kids in Africa need school supplies too. Next thing you know they are coming home with 2 backpacks, and double sets of paper, pencils and folders.

The cards! Oh i wish you could see them, I'll try and hunt down pictures. Our kids have made cards to kids in Madagascar and Rwanda for the last several weeks. They want to send a bit of themselves over with all the stuff. Many have asked to be pen pals. One card is my favorite so far - Breanna wrote in green marker something to the effect of: "Hi, you're probably wondering why I am writing you. I live in USA in Portland and God is Jesus and Jesus died for our sins so we could be with God forever. Would you like to be pen pals?". I wish I could be across the world to see the face when a child reads Breanna's card.

Kids hearts are motivated and moved to act and to be selfless in as much way as they can. And all we did was say "we value this, it's what the bible says to be about". And the kids come up with the response. I'm so proud of them and so grateful to God for moving in ways we couldn't have come up with.

Please Don't Sit on the Kids

For all those who are always wanting more tricks of the trade and ideas for how to manage kids and apply consequences when necessary - this book is for you. It's called Please Don't Sit on the Kids.

It's a great tool (and super easy read) for how to get kids to listen, how to remind them of behavior to avoid, how to TALK to them when they are misbehaving, and how to spot possible misbehavior coming on BEFORE it happens so you can lead them into something better.

Read a chapter online, or buy the whole book and highlight the parts you love. Share it with your friends, make copies for people on your volunteer team, or just implement ONE THING in it the next time you are with kids. I promise you it will be helpful in understanding kids a bit more.

Love to you all.