Owning and Repenting

A friend is going through one of those crazy times in life and ministry right now where she's not sure how she got where she is or how to get out. God has been speaking to her steadily and bringing much clarity which has brought upon repentance as well as joy and praise. It's been a privilege to watch even through her tears, because she is being set free to really live again.

This is what she has allowed me to share. A piece of her heart, so that you may be encouraged that managing, taking complaints to the top, and being a worker bee - is a dead end in leading others. Life, joy, the work of God - comes from deep change and allowing others freedom to create and step in.

This is what she writes to her leaders (followed up by connecting with them):

I want to share a little of my life with you guys. Over the last week or so God has been showing, challenging and growing me so much. He's revealing some of my misconceptions and disbelief's about Him. I'm finding I don't actually believe the truth about his character. And with that, I have misconceptions of myself and how He sees me. Over the last few weeks He has been revealing some of those unbelief's/disbelief's to me, and gently correcting me. I've had to confess, and then seek Him, which is one of the very issues I have been learning about - not wanting to seek or ask of God.

I want to share all this for 2 reasons. One to be open to what God is teaching me, doing in me, and share my life with you as you do with me. Two, because my sin effects you and our ministry. I see that when I lead I pass these doubts about God onto you, how can I not? It might be by taking away things you are gifted at, made to do or stepping in to take over in places maybe God is trying to reveal something to you or your volunteers hearts. In my unnecessary protection, I don't want to see you burdened at all and so I overcompensate.

I want to apologize for creating an environment that is not healthy, where i am not leading well, and where i just keep creating systems and such when I really need to let the internal burdens i carry go (sometimes to just to God, sometimes to you, sometimes to my leaders, to other staff, etc) and then stand back look at what we are doing, why we do it, and what I'm made/called by God to do in this ministry.

So, that is what I am doing, digging my way out and answering some questions. The biggest of which is why? Why am i doing what I'm doing? When I looked at all the words that came out as I answered this - people was the theme. I care for people! I want them to be taken care of, inspired, helped, and known. And I know you want the same which is why you are here.

I am so thankful for you, for your faithfulness, your love for the people God has brought us, your hard work, and the grace you have for me. I am blessed. Please pray for me as I learn to believe that God wants me to lean into Him and ask Him for help, and that this ministry doesn't revolve around me and my efforts.

My friend is beginning to be free from a cage of burden and to do lists that she had created and led her team in. She has not blamed staff, quit without going through the process God wanted to do in her, or shuffled all her responsibility onto her team. She instead...repented. Which doesn't mean asking forgiveness and doing the same. It means turning around. Simple, yet something many of us struggle to do. I'm looking forward to watching her team create and dream and listen to God's heart as they lead people.

Thank you friend for reminding us all the importance of owning, repenting and the humble attitude of a leader that frees us all.

From the mother of a 2 year old

Wendy - Thank you for taking the time out to email me, that sounds right up my son's alley. He has been talking about "church" lately, and I have to give you guys some great high fives because he tells me about "sing Jesus" and "love Jesus" and it is so sweet. To see him loving to stay at church is such a difference from the past. oh yea, another story. We pray as a family (all holding hands together) but sometimes he holds his hands to himself and the only place that he has learned that is from you guys. To know that my son is praying outside of home, is beautiful.
Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for being consistent caring and most of all loving my little guy. I cannot tell you how much that means to me.

Thank you 2 year old teachers! I love you! God is breaking through and drawing kids to Himself.

Kids on mission

One of my staff, Adam Parent, shared this with me about some movement God is doing in our kids hearts:

Several weeks ago for our Sunday morning K-5th grade community, Joni Kabana came and shared about Torina’s world (a book she wrote/took pictures for about kids in Madagascar). While sharing several kids asked her what they could do to help? Some asked if they could bring clothes, some school supplies, etc. Joni – responded with “of course you can” – this began the ball rolling of kids bringing in clothes and school supplies to donate to these children. They started pouring in the goods on Sunday the week after Joni spoke.

The week following, the Hotchkiss family came and shared about the well project they have been helping with over in Rwanda. They have partnered with a school to help build and repair a well. Lisa Hotchkiss had the idea to ask kids to earn $ for the well project by doing special chores as opposed to just asking their parents for the money. I thought it was a great idea and so advertised it to our kids and parents. The money brought in this past week are a result of the extra chores worked on by the kids of Imago - $167 the kids have brought in thus far!

The same Sunday that the Hotchkiss family came, Amy Boles (one of our 4th/5th grade teachers) came up to me and had the idea while she was talking with her class about earning money and matching the funds they earn. She wrote a letter to the other teachers seeing if they wanted to partner with the kids. So now there is more money coming in from the teachers after finding out what the kids in their class brought in.

We also made a banner for the school in Rwanda – and cards and pictures for the kids in Madagascar that we will be sending off with the $$ and the clothing/school supplies. Absolutely cool – how that all came together.

(Pictured above is Christy, Adam's wife who delivered all the supplies the kids had put together)

I got to oversee elementary a week ago in Adam's absence. I was amazed and even humbled listening to the kids talk about what they did to earn money that week and why they wanted to. The kids told me all about the well that had broken in Rwanda at a school and how the kids there had to drink gross water now. So there I stood with a pink bucket where they brought their hard earned cash - some of them having no idea what they were doing as they threw a $20 bill in, and others coming with $2.67 all labeled and in a Ziploc baggie very carefully placing it. Parents were curious if the kids raised much of anything and asked when we are sending supplies over and how else they can help.

Fascinating to me. A curriculum we wrote out of our church's value of missional journey - we made a segment about global community. And we prayed and invited others in whom we thought would have a unique and real perspective on what it looks like to care for others in other parts of the world. And the kids NATURAL response with little adult initiation is...WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP? HOW CAN I KNOW THOSE KIDS? I hear stories of kids at the grocery store with their parents and the subject comes up that kids in Africa need school supplies too. Next thing you know they are coming home with 2 backpacks, and double sets of paper, pencils and folders.

The cards! Oh i wish you could see them, I'll try and hunt down pictures. Our kids have made cards to kids in Madagascar and Rwanda for the last several weeks. They want to send a bit of themselves over with all the stuff. Many have asked to be pen pals. One card is my favorite so far - Breanna wrote in green marker something to the effect of: "Hi, you're probably wondering why I am writing you. I live in USA in Portland and God is Jesus and Jesus died for our sins so we could be with God forever. Would you like to be pen pals?". I wish I could be across the world to see the face when a child reads Breanna's card.

Kids hearts are motivated and moved to act and to be selfless in as much way as they can. And all we did was say "we value this, it's what the bible says to be about". And the kids come up with the response. I'm so proud of them and so grateful to God for moving in ways we couldn't have come up with.